10 Myths about dressing modestly
I started dressing more modestly about seven years ago for a number of reasons.
Before and after that time, I've heard many objections, assumptions or reservations about modest dress, some of which I even believed myself. Now, as one with "experience" dressing modestly I've found most of these assumptions to be based on myths, so I decided to compile my top ten. What myths about dressing modestly have you found?
1. Wearing skirts and dresses is inconvenient
This is only true if you don't have the right length and cut to your skirt. There is a length and style of skirt or dress to suit every occasion. Seriously. I've been dressing modestly for seven years. I have five children, live on a hobby farm and lead an active life. The only time I have ever been inconvenienced by a skirt is trying to scale a barb wire fence, which I probably shouldn't have been doing anyway! We ride horses, hike, swim, run, garden, slide down slides, hang on monkey bars (ok, not me, but my children do!), and are not inconvenienced by our skirts if they are the right length and shape.
2. Modest attire is pricey or requires a new wardrobe
I've actually had someone tell me they couldn't dress modestly because they couldn't afford it. If you are committed to dressing modestly, budget does not have to stand in your way. Start with one skirt that goes with everything and fits you well, like a denim or black A-line. Change its look with your existing shirts, shoes and accessories. Believe me when I say, people will not care if you wear the same skirt every day it's clean, you alternate your shirts and keep a smile on your face. Pick it up at a thrift store. I have found almost all my skirts at Value Village. Eventually, you will build up a modest wardrobe.
3. Dressing modestly makes you look frumpy
It can, but it depends on what you wear and how you wear it. Usually frumpiness occurs when something doesn't fit right. Admittedly, it's easier for skinny women to not look frumpy, but even larger women can look very pretty and more slender in modest attire. In fact, modest dress can be quite slimming. When you expose less skin and when clothing isn't tight and revealing, you have a grand opportunity to streamline your look and hide "problem" areas. You just have to find the modest style that looks best on you.
4. It's hard to look stylish and be modest
When you start dressing modestly, you'll probably never be precisely right "in" but there are ways to update your look and give a façade of being current. Want be sporty? Wear a stretchy sports-knit A-line skirt with your hoodie and sneakers. Like that return to the '80s retro look? Wear a knee-length pleated skirt over the pencil-thin jeans and flats. And admit it -- it's so easy to be "earthy-granola" in modest dress! Go with the style that suits your tastes, personally, and lifestyle and be unapologetic about it. People respect that.
5. Modest dress is too hot in the summer
Anyone who says it's too hot to be modest obviously hasn't seen the dress of many countries with hot climates. Those in hot climates are COVERED. Arabs, both men and women, are covered from head to toe and it isn't just because they're largely Muslim. Indian women, usually Hindu and polytheistic, are also covered. These cultures know light-colored and light-weight fabrics are wisest in the heat. I live in Canada's hottest city in the summer. Temperatures can easily get up over 35C. I used to wear shorts and tank tops like everyone else, but can honestly say I don't feel any hotter or bothered wearing a light t-shirt and linen skirt. In fact, I feel freer and cooler. Summer is a fun time to dress modestly.
6. You can't exercise in modest clothes
Another myth. Culottes or those cutie-po-tutie run skirts over leggings make sure your clothes don't hinder you when you run. Even competitive runners wear them sometimes. Loose capris makes sure you can have a full range of movement and a t-shirt over a tucked-in camisole will ensure no one can see up your shirt in pilates class, even when you're bending over. Where there's a will, there's a stylish and modest way!
7. Dressing modest prevents you from connecting to people
I have heard some people say dressing modestly makes other people feel uncomfortable and they don't want to distance them. Certainly you don't want to make people feel uncomfortable, but I it's almost always an attitude that does this, not what you wear. There will always be people who feel uncomfortable with the way some people look. Some are uncomfortable with tattoos or excessive piercings, some are uncomfortable with headcoverings. A kind smile. A tight hug. Genuine interest in their well being. These gestures cross cultures and circumstances, melt discomfort, and create sincere connection.
8. People look down upon you if you wear skirts and dresses
This is related to the above point. Though sometimes true, it's usually a myth others with look down upon you. Usually they will respect you. Some may form some sort of bias or stereotype which may or may not be true, but that's OK. You can't stop people from making assumptions. What you can do is show that you don't look down on them. Again, a smile, a tight hug, and genuine interest in their well being goes miles.
9. You have to wear long skirts and dresses to be modest
This is a myth, but has a lot of truth to it and again, it depends on your definition of modest. You don't have to wear skirts and dresses, but it's hard to have a modest bottom half of your body without them. As a blue jeans wearer all my life before I committed myself to modest dress, I am fairly convinced there isn't a pair of jeans out there that doesn't show the shape of bottom and thighs. Jeans on women are tight. Period. However, some pants are loose fitting, like culottes, for example. I've seen some modest dressers (especially teen girls) wear very long shirts that come almost to their knees over pants. Indian women in traditional dress are very modest, and they wear pants. A swingy and not tight skirt to the knees over pants does the deed too.
10. Modest dress makes your attitude modest
While largely a myth, there is a measure of truth to this. When you dress modestly it, in some ways, changes your attitude. It makes you more conscious if how you act. You become less interested in conforming to the world, and more interested in reforming your spirit and mind. But with that said, even if someone is dressed modestly, a boastful, all-knowing, or elitist attitude makes them immodest. Modesty comes of the heart.
