Top 10 farm workouts
(Strengthen your 'traps with cow pulls. No need for gimmicky workouts on a hobby farm!)
You know you live in a sedentary culture when the weight-loss/fitness industry is a multibillion-dollar industry. If Canada were an agrarian-focused nation where farming was the centre of one's life, there would be no need for stairclimbers, dumbbells and books on dieting. Of course, going back to the days of homesteading would not only be an impossibility, it would be economic suicide. Still, after living on a hobby farm for four years, the thought of joining a gym to gain strength or to lose weight is laughable. One current trend is to incorporate everyday objects into a workout regimen. For example, one could use their office chair as support for stretching, perform squats while holding several packages of paper or briskly walking up the stairs instead of using the elevator. The most recent trend I came across is the Hardware-Store Workout. No joke. It's in Outside magazine, and it encourages people to perform cinder-block presses, bucket swings, sandbag sprints and two-by-four jumps. While such fads may be useful to the time-strapped office worker, for the hobby farmer, these workouts are unnecessary. I've been an athlete all my life. As a teen, I played competitive hockey and soccer, as an adult I've qualified for the Boston Marathon three times. I used to think I had strength and endurance. Then I bought a hobby farm.
" I used to think I had strength and endurance.
Then I bought a hobby farm."
Indeed, strength and fitness are just part of the farming lifestyle. To prove my point, I've compiled my own 10-point exercise plan that will whip city dwellers into shape in no time.
1. CHICKEN SPRINTS Whenever a chicken is spotted pecking in the garden or scratching up the flower beds, immediately jump into a dead sprint to chase them away. This anaerobic workout will get your heart rate up and your cardiovascular system in tip-top shape.
Bonus move: Increase the complexity of the workout by flapping your arms and yelling obscenities.
2. HAY SWINGS Swinging 75-pound bales of hay will strengthen your core in short order. Keep your feet shoulder-length apart, contract your abdominal muscles, and swing the bale from the truck to the ground. Do this 100 times. Feel the burn.
Bonus move: Pile bales of hay eight-feet high with no mechanized help.
3. WHEELBARROW ROLLS A total-body workout that will strengthen your biceps, quads, hamstrings, chest, abs and many other muscles. Proper technique is essential. Bend at your knees when grabbing the handles and be sure to extend upwards slowly before rolling the wheelbarrow. Start with a light load and work your way up. Do the same with distance.
Bonus move: Let your children ride in the wheelbarrow on the way back from dumping the load.
4. WATER-BUCKET CARRIES Build leg and grip strength by carrying buckets of sloshing water to your thirsty animals. Do this several times a day and resist the chance to cheat with a garden hose.
Bonus move: Add in extra core strength by doing the same workout in the winter. Negotiating icy pathways through snow will help with balance.
5. SHOVEL LIFTS Nothing says farming more than shovelling. Whether it's snow, dirt, manure, rocks or compost, there's never a shortage of stuff to shovel. Strengthen your core muscles and shoulders by doing this simple exercise every day throughout the year.
Bonus move: Test your endurance — and patience — by digging out clover. The root goes on and on and on and . . .
6. SCYTHE SWINGS Another core exercise that will strengthen all those stability muscles in your stomach and back. When cutting hay or wheat, raise the scythe shoulder height, swing down and slightly toward you. Repeat hundreds of times.
Bonus move: Work on your form by using the blade on something a little tougher — burdock. Cutting hay will seem like a dream after slicing through the stalks of these weeds.
7. MILKING You don't need spinach to get forearms like Popeye, you need a milk cow. Proper technique is key, but once you have it down, the only thing stopping you from filling a bucket or two — or three — will be the strength of your arms. Do this day and night and Popeye will have nothing on you.
Bonus move: Improve your skill by dodging the cow's tail.
8. BARBED-WIRE STRETCHES Don't have a tractor or fence-stretcher to help string up barbed wire? Perfect. Grab a crowbar and stretch barbed wire at each fence post before nailing in a staple. Watch out for nicks from the barbs.
Bonus move: Push a heavy roll of barbed wire to the fencing area and develop your grip strength by using an inadequate tool to cut the wire.
9. POST-HOLE LIFTS Another fencing project that requires a strong heart and even stronger shoulders. Mark spots for fence posts and pull up dirt with a post-hole digger. The deeper you dig, the more intense the workout. And watch out for rocks!
Bonus move: Sweat out all the toxins in your body by doing this in 35 C weather.
10. GOAT WRESTLING Agility is key to keeping strong and limber. Grab a year-old goat and wrestle it to the ground to give it medication, to trim its hooves, or just for fun. They're a pretty tough lot. Warning: if they haven't been disbudded, watch out for horns.
Bonus move: Hoist one into your arms and carry it across a pasture after getting loose. This will happen a lot.
This column first appeared in The Armchair Mayor News
